just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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