Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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