she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
