Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
