Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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