I'm gonna have a badass scar
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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