Moan for me like Helen Keller
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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