She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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