My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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