i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My cat gives me a boner
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
