you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Randomize
