no, he came in my armpit
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
