I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
We need a shit load of segways right now
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
