Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
