Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
