I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
