I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
