ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
