Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You are the jesus of drinking
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
