evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
