Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
