He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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