I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
