Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
