im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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