You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
