I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
