the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
