so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
