i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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