Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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