That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
