hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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