redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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