Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'

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(845): View more from New York

Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."

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(480): View more from Arizona

oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund

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(330): View more from Ohio

what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car

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(614): View more from Ohio

thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.

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(925): View more from California

I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine

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