If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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