They should really pass out barf bags in church
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
