I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
