so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
