yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
There r osticjed everywhere
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
