What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
