That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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