my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
