I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My ass is underappreciated
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
