even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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