Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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