On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
