My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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