my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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