If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
